Monday, April 20, 2009

Potato Salad Sisters, 40 pizza rolls, cookie jarvis.

I just finished with my first final. Basically is was peach and cake. So down one, 3 to go, seeing as I finished one of my mostly online classes about 2 weeks ago. Let it be said though, that the next two weeks will be quite busy. Too busy for my liking.

Last night Herchyl and Natalie got booted off the Celeb Apprentice. While they weren't the best players, it was obvious that Clint needs to go. He is messing everything up and being a punk about everything. As Rodman would say to him, "Its a team game!"
Jesse James is still in the clear and doing well. Just hope that he doesnt have to raise a bunch of money by using his friends, because it appears that he is strictly adverse to doing that. I agree, how annoying is it to keep calling up your rich friends for money?

By the way, this is the strangest thing I have EVER seen. Maybe one of the most disturbing too. They are singing a song about potato salad and then things get crazy!!!!
I give you the Ross Sisters.

Welp. that was awesome.

Summertime she comes! Alaska is going to be fun. I need a job still though.

I am pretty sure that we will have a good crowd at the armorie show on Wednesday. Which will be good. I am nervous to play without the full band effect, but I think things should still go down quite nicely.

Only watch this if you are not the least bit squeamish, I almost lost it during the first minute. This is everything wrong with America.

I can just imagine his mom coming home and opening the freezer. "That porker ate the whole bag of pizza rolls in one sitting again!!"
Off to go shopping!

One more gross eating video
This guy is like the Billy Mitchell of Eating

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Death of Csmooth????? maybe....

Hello there loyal readers.

I am headed to work in a few go serve some skillets to some geezers who think they are kings. The menu has changed up a bit and I got to get that down. I am actually not bummed to be going to work though, I need to get my rear out of this chair. I have been working on a school project most of the morning.

The rap show went well last night, definitely had a good time. There were a good amount of random people there for the other three bands and I don't know if I was what they were expecting. In fact there were two old ladies there looking at artwork that looked as if they had just been blasted to the future and were trying to figure it out. I take that as a good sign. Thanks to those of you who showed up. You may have witnessed the last Calvin Smooth show of all time. Yes, I have been putting some thought into and thinking that it is time to hang up the cape for at least a while. I am not going to say that I am "retiring", because that way if I ever do come back to writing rhymes again, then it will be about as annoying as Jay-Z quitting and then coming back to make more albums. He should of stayed away. Naw, I'm more of taking a long break without a definite end. There are several reasons for this decision.

1. I think I told the story I wanted to tell with Calvin Smooth. He is a character who is slightly obnoxious and full of himself although sometimes secretly has his doubts about his own belief system. He had songs that were full of boasting and strong opinions, and a that showed a bit of insecurities deep down. He destroyed the beast and then wallowed in the aftermath of that for a while, before ripping out the sting and laying it all out on the line. After a while he just kind of went out of his mind and wished that the challenge hadn't already been surmounted. It was the arc that I always had planned for that character since my Junior year of highschool, and the 3 albums I have kind of follow it nicely. Its time for him to go away for a while and figure out what to do next. He is kind of in a weird stasis right now and sick of the game. As he said in "Spotlight Burns", "Someone else will come around, I will make my peace, I'll let them grab the microphone, complain about the beast". That time has come.

2. I think that hip-hop has a certain stigma in Utah that is hard to break. People still think Gangtser rap is what rap is. I have a different view. It is very difficult to make people come see a hip hop show without them knowing exactly what you will be doing and saying. I think most people enjoyed the shows when they came out, but its that first hump that is difficult. Logan especially isn't all that interested in live shows, which is fine. I am more into recording the stuff and giving it away anyways. Maybe the supply is too high. So I decide to gracefully bow out to decrease the supply. I will still do stuff with the band live, but live shows in Logan is too much work for a one or two faithful people who come out.

3. I want to move on to something different. I don't want to be one of those poeple who makes the same songs over and over again. So I am going to try my hand at a few different things for a while. Going to compose some stuff for other people, write some melodies, ect. I have alot to learn. I want to play some classical piano too. This summer is a good time to get jumpstarted in all that I think. School has taken its toll and it is time for a huge change of pace, musically included. I killed the beast? What more could you want?

So thanks for anyone who has ever come see Calvin Smooth do his thing. There is hope that someday for some circumstance he will come out again, flag waving to save the world from some new threat. Something in proportion to his inner strengths. But for now he is in hiding in some cave somewheres. I still have a bunch of music to give away if you want some.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Rivers Girls, Neil, New Music

So things are winding down here at school. Just finishing up some papers and starting to study for the finals, which will be no fun. I have alot of work to do in that area, but hope to get a good jump on it tonight.

If you haven't been keeping up on the Celebrity Apprentice you are missing out. The Rivers ladies are losing their minds slowly but surely.

Last week Joan about killed Clint Black, but this week they have formed an alliance against Annie Duke and Brande. Things are getting intense. Brian McKnight kind of laid down and died though. He must have had other things to do, and I don't blame him for wanting to get away from all of that craziness. I still think Jesse has got a good chance of taking the whole thing unless some freak accident eliminates him. He seems to be the best player right now.

Went to the Neil Young night the other day that they USU guitar club put on. Aside from taking forever to start and alot of setup time, it was pretty good. I did a tune from one of the newer albums. I also went and caught the last few songs at the Fictionist show at Whysound and that was fantastic. I'd see them again.

Speaking of band news, I am doing my last Hip hop show as Calvin Smooth for the school year at Whysound this Friday. It starts at 8:00 and I will be opening the show, so stop by if you are in the vicinity. I have some new songs and some special guests that are going to help out during the set. Its gonna be weird.

Also, I will doing my last few sets with armorie on the 22nd at Whysound, and on the 27th at Kilby Court in Salt Lake City. Hope to see you there. We are excited to play those shows. They will be the last until next year of course.

Had to work on Easter, but it was alright. I made like 50 bucks and also we had a huge party with Chilis, Dominos, and Ice cream cake. It made the night worth having to be stuck serving people their coffee on a holiday.

If your looking for some interesting new music, then here are some things I have been digging lately.

1. Bats For Lashes (Both her albums are very good. Get it today)

2. Bromst-Dan Deacon (Very excited to see this show on the 29th)

I understand how weird of a performance that is. Thats what makes it so funny. he must have confused the heck out of those local news peoples. This is not an accurate representation of the new album though.
3. Wavvves (Lo-fi Punk rock?)

That should do for now.

Oh yeah, and Keith and I will be playing for a benefit show on Thursday at 8 PM at the Lindstrom Center. Will be fun I think. Keith went to see Britney Spears tonight. Make fun of him.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Unusual Texting, Notes

Kind of was a lousy weekend, despite a good General Conference.

But here is a funny/odd story.

I was in the TSC studying for a test, and i have the follow transaction through text messages.

Unknown Number: "Hey whats up"
Me: Not much how are you?
Unkown Number: Hey whats your name?
Me: Who is this?
UN: Derek aka smiley
Me: this is Calvin
UN: calvin?
Me: yes how do I know you?
UN: whats your last name?
Me: kenley
UN: where do you live?
Me: Logan. listen I dont think I know you.
UN: no, I want to be your friend, listen, calvin can you do me a favor?
Me: what would that be?
UN: well ok, i need 250 dollars by tomorrow or else i go to jail but i don't get paid til next week so i was wounderin if you can loan me 250 i will pay you back. please if u can go to walmart and moneygram it to me today.
Me: I don't do favors like that for people i don't know.
UN: Please, I will send you a picture of myself! (He send a picture of himself, he is a latin looking dude with a mustache and a Skyview Sweatshirt on)
Me: this is really weird man. how did you even get my number
UN: Please i will pay you back
Me: Why do you have my number?
UN: Please I will pay you back I promise!
Me: Your not answering my question.
UN: Ok fine, I seen a picture of you on mandi's facebook and i saw you number that is how i got to talk to you please will you help me, i will pay you back!
Me: Can't help you. Go to one of those quickloan places.

At this point I stopped texting for about 2 hours. About every half an hour I received a message like this.

UN: Please Please! I said I will pay you back, I promise! I will pay you back!

Finally I texted him back
UN: Ok. Fine. tell me how i can get that money you said at quickloan???
Me: Search on the internet for fastcash in logan
UN: Do i get it for free
Me: No you have to leave some sort of collateral, something of value
UN: Like what tell me
Me: A car title or pay stub or something like that
UN: Like a social security card or ID card?
Me: No it has to have monetary value, like a car title. at least worth the loan amount.
UN: I dont have that if u help me i promise to pay!
Me: no can do
UN: Why?
Me: Because there is no way i am giving money to some random guy who gets my number off facebook. promises are worth nothing, you can just run with the money. you are crazy thinking someone will give you a loan like that. especially that you have never met before.
UN: Do you know anybody? (Now its like that curse on the ring where you have to pass it on. Lucky for you I did not punish anyone by giving him their number)
Me: Not that would help you. Goodbye.

That was the last I heard of him. Man was he annoying. Needless to say, I took my number off facebook and blocked the dude and any public from seeing my account. I did a bit of research, he is a real guy, not somebody trying to prank me. what a creepster. I bet he was either an addict that really needed some drug money, or somebody that was owed somebody else some major cash. Either way, your not safe posting info. on line. There are a lot of psychos out there.

Saw Barton Fink for the first time and man was it crazy.

Eminems new songs are worse than ever before. Absolute garbage.

Celebrity Apprentice had a double firing this week. It seemed like a very ratings based decision. Trump fired two very boring people who didn't contribute to the feel of the show. Chloe got canned because he found out she had a DUI whereas the TLC chick "T-boz" went because she volunteered to go into the bored room, and as Trump says, "Never volunteer for anything negative!" Clint clearly should have been the only one to go. He was being such a weirdo during the whole task. Anyways, Junk TV sometimes can be soooo good.

We were supposed to play on campus today as part of the Day on the Quad. This mornign they cancelled the Quad stuff because it looked like it was going to rain. But now its beautiful out there. What the heck weather??

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Dance moves that rock.

This is what joy really looks like.

I think the weird butt slap may be the key to his power.

wonder if anyone enjoys this as much as i do.