Thursday, February 5, 2009

Concert, Cereal Appreciation Day

Armorie is playing on the 19th. Will be a rock show for sure. We have alot of practice to do between now and then to get a killer set ready. Tell yer friendos.

Today as I was enjoying a full bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats, I thought of how amazing cereal is. Whoever invented the idea should have gotten the Nobel Peace Prize. Or maybe cereal predates that. The greatest thing about cereal is that there are so many choices. If you get sick of one, you just move on to the next, but soon your always drawn back to your very favorites. Anyways, in an effort to honor cereal today, I thought I would do a top 10.

1. The KING of all Cereal is Honey Bunches of Oats. Its so freaking good that its hard to describe. If you get tired of the regular, you can easily go for the +almonds, or even better, the +stawberries. There is no cereal more conducive to a fruit addition than H.B.O. either. The ultimate test is that even little kids are ok with it, even with their immature tastebuds.

2. Bluberry Muffin Top cereal is not only based on the ingenious seinfeld idea in its marketing scheme, but also is affordable because its made by MALTOMEAL! I couldn't believe how good this was the first time I tried it out. No other brand name has anything even remotely similar. For the record, it tastes nothing like blueberry muffins, but its still strangely very tasty.

3. Frosted Mini Wheats are one of those cereals that has been in my life for a long time. The image of round hay bales covered with snow comes to mind as soon as you see 'em, and somehow they have made that image appetizing. Even for a guy who absolutely hates hay...being that I have excruciating hay related allergies and cannot get within ten feet of it without ruining my entire day. One thing I love about FMW is the fact that they absorp milk at a fast rate without getting too soggy. They just are drenched, and it makes for some great textural surprises.

4. Fruity Pebbles are the Flinstones official cereal. If they didn't get much right in the stone age, this was definitely a winner. Best thing about the pebbles is that they are tiny so you get much cereal per bite, and also they leech their flavors into the milk and make an amazing after breakfast beverage filled with every sugar under the sun. I call it rainbow flavored milk.

5. HoneyCombs are another one of those cereals designed after something you would never actually want to eat...believe me, in Guatemala I sucked honey out of a comb many a time and its an excruciating and very unrewarding process. But make it into a cereal and somehow they have struck gold! Honeycombs are the one cereal that gracefully made the transition through the pre-teen years into the teen years and into adulthood. They are so good that everyone can agree on it. Part of a complete breakfast yo.

6. Lucky Charms did not make the aforementioned transition, but I have to include them because as a kid this was the only cereal that even could hold my interest. The marshmellows, the leprachaun who wouldn't let the kids have the cereal, the fact that your parents forbid you to partake. It was like the very first bit of rebellion I ever experienced...a friend would have some at his house and offer you some. There was no way you could turn it down. Later my mother caved and got some, and its as if you handed a kid the keys to a candystore. I snuck that stuff at various times of the day. Who cares that the marshmellows really aren't marshmellows, they still taste good. Lucky Charms is as close to comfort food for me as is Grandma's Chicken Noodle Soup.

7. Cheerios...although incredibly boring in concept, are still delicious surprising and classic. I ate these things as a toddler from a plastic bag during church so I wouldn't cry, and they have never let me down. Lets get something straight though. Regular cheerious suck without sugar. If they are Honey Nut though, say no more, your morning is made.

8. Cap'n Crunch Oops all Berries is an offshoot that I am not even sure currently exists. Forget Captain Crunch, he was an old fart. The crunchberries on the other hand were what the cereal always should have been, and somebody finally realized. As the story goes, someone hit a wrong button in the Cap'n Crunch factory and all the bags got filled with berries. I don't care how it happened, this is the kind of mistake I love. By the way, the soggies effected the brown stuff in the cereals much more than it did the crunchberries.

9. Chex....All forms of it...well maybe the wheat chex lack a little bit, but even they have an intregal part when it comes to making chex mix. Chex has transcended even the cereal world, along with my number 10 choice, to something so much greater. Have you had muddy buddies? They even sell Turtle Chex mix in packages now. Amazing. Lest we forget though...straight up in a bowl is pretty fantastic as well, as long as you do a little sprinkling of sugar before hand.

10. Rice Krispies are so great. Plain and boring I know, but still, with a bit of sugar you have the makings of something great. And the sound those little suckers make is really one of the most enjoyable parts of the whole thing. Also caters to fruit mixing in, and of course, nobody can deny the power and resonance of the rice krispie treat. They have even turned Rice Krispie Treats into a cereal...which is a bit like cannabalism in a way. Maybe not.

Honorable Mention: Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Did I forget anything? Let me know your opinions on this one. Cereal deserves its praise and status as King of all Breakfast.

Calvin Smooth.


Rita Christiansen said...

Fruity Pebbles should be on the top ten WORST cereals of all time. Along with Count Chocula. How can you eat those? The ones that you left out are Reeses Puffs (best sugary cereal ever). Cracklin Oat Bran, and Grapenuts.

Calvin Smooth said...

Grapenuts are downright unedible.
Its like having glass and milk.

Tina said...

Loved that post...especially the description of Frosted Mini Wheats...hay bales!? so true!! lol! And now I'm hungry...but I love all the cereals you listed, and for all the same reasons! But I would like to mention that the only Chex cereal edible as actual cereal is Honeynut Chex...which is totally rockin' my world at the moment! But no other chex will ever make it into my cereal bowl! Only into my muddy buddies and chex mix!

And Rita, I really hope you were kidding about grapenuts and cracklin oat bran...they be nast!! :)

I love your posts Calvin!

Holly said...

I agree with Rita on the Reese's Puffs. You must have never had them to have forgotten them on you list because they are amazing. Slightly less amazing but still good: Cocoa Puffs. And Although you did mention Chex, you should definitely try Chocolate Chex. They are magic. said...

i now know your netflix password.

too bad there's no twix cereal.

Calvin Smooth said...

Dont care for reeses puffs. They are good, but not top 10 good. Oh and Tina you need to try Chex with some sugar on them. It fixes the problem. Just a little sugar and they become like little crack covered angel nail clippings.
And Holly, Chocalate Chex are D-licous.